Today would have been my brother David's 52nd birthday. He and I were never close.  Our relationship was a product of a crazy making childhood.  As adults sometimes even the best intentions to heal things don't work. Today I am thankful to be able to see him through the eyes of others.  I see a wife who loved him well and cared for him like no one else could have. I see friends who grieve still for no longer having time with him here. I am thankful to have seen these things and thankful to Lisa for sharing parts of him with me that I had never known. In the last couple of years I have had to face that things I blamed him for in our youth, he was just as much a victim of as I was.  The truth is sometimes people who should love you and protect you don't. Freedom comes when healing comes.  The fact that he is on my mind today in the way that he is shows me that I am free from that pain.  I wish he were still here for Lisa, I wish he were still here for his friends. God answered many prayers even though our relationship was never mended on this earth.  Today I say Happy Birthday to David, the rodeo clown, the crazy cow rider, the beer drinking buddy.  The husband to Lisa who wouldn't take any crap off you.  Happy Birthday in heaven.