Here I Grow..........

There are many reasons why I haven't written often. Some of those reasons are in reality, excuses. Some are more legitimate. I want to talk about the legitimate ones.

Many years ago, a mentor of mine said that I didn't want to write because I didn't want to go where writing would take me. I thought he was wrong. It turns out he was right. Writing does take me places I don't want to go. Writing makes me feel naked and vulnerable. It makes me feel exposed. It's like you put a piece of you on paper, online, in print and there it is, for the whole world to see. In the world, we live in people lose jobs for things they tweeted when they were seventeen. I am not the same person I was when I was a teenager. I am not the same person I was five years ago. I am a work in progress, everchanging and hopefully expanding and growing. Sometimes I have a potty mouth, and sometimes I say things only to realize later, I said too much. Sometimes I am happy about it, other times I wish I could take it back. There are times I am quiet when I should speak up.

Yet I have this desire deep inside of me. One that won't quit. I desire to share with people through writing, things that I think. Things I have learned and even had to unlearn. Situations I have experienced. My desire to share comes from a good place, a pure place. A place that wants to empower and encourage people. A place that wants to help people think outside the box, to broaden their concept of grace and mercy. Lord knows I have broadened mine like the width of a thousand football fields over the years. Yet at the same time, I want to hide in the corner. And run from this desire. But I know if I keep hiding, the day will come when I have hidden too long and have run out of time. So here I am, sitting before you and my Creator, hoping for mercy as I start to share my heart. You may not like what you read from my heart, and that's okay. But I encourage you, to commit to reading anyway. And here is why, when we only are around people who think, walk and speak just like we do, we can miss a lot. We can miss the beauty of being different. We can miss the growth that comes by hearing thoughts that challenge us. We can miss out on relationships with people who have different viewpoints. Relationships that if we were open to them, might help us grow in compassion or belief. Things that might drive us to understand why we believe what we believe.

So if you are willing to read what I write, please sign up for the email list. It is my goal to release one post per week, sometimes two. I will send a quick email to let you know it's there to read. I promise not to sell your email if you promise not to share mine with people who will be mean online! No seriously, I won't sell it or use it for anything other than to say, hey....I wrote something again!

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Doris Cardwell2 Comments